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A Dad's Perspective
It’s
said that few things matter more than family. Problem was, a
“family” of our own was sorely missing. How that came to be is a
mystery of sorts, but it happened just the same. Before my wife
and I realized that we hadn’t begun planning a family, we were in our
late thirties and the clock was ticking.
One little problem… the hands of time had bypassed that glorious window
of opportunity that for others is like an endless stroll along a
mountain trail. For us, that window was more like a sprint in the
rain from the car to the coffee shop. What had happened?
Where did the time go?
Feeling confused, betrayed, yet determined, we forged ahead with the
“normal” steps couples take when they’ve seemingly reached the end of
their God-given rope. After a natural miscarriage and countless
failed IVF cycles, all we had to show for our dreams were tears of pain
and frustration. How could it be that a family for us was not in
the cards? That was a question we both pondered night and day and
to which an answer we really didn’t want to accept. So, we
didn’t. I should say that my wife didn’t.
By shear luck, fate, or divine intervention -- whatever you want to
call it – my wife stumbled upon Glenda and Scott Lyons, another couple
who had taken that same sprint in the rain as we did but instead of
pain, found success in IVF and were blessed with three beautiful
children.
But, their hearts were unsettled.
Most people who go through what the Lyons’ went through move on with
their lives and begin focusing on raising a family. Others, like
the Lyons’, wanted to share the gift that had been bestowed upon them
in a way that would hopefully give another couple like us the same joy
of perhaps raising their own family.
Miraculously, my wife Sue and Glenda Lyons met online. A curious
post to an IVF board. A reply. Many replies by many
couples. A ray of hope. Wait. Don’t get your hopes up
too much. We’re only one of many.
Days pass...
Sue and Glenda begin to sow the seeds of a relationship. The list
is shortened. Until. Finally, the Lyons’ chose us as the
recipients of their remaining embryos, the byproducts of an IFV
procedure that resulted in their beautiful set of twins, Samantha and
Mitchell.
Amazingly, we’ve found another couple who has agreed to graciously and
lovingly give us the “missing ingredient” we need to hopefully have a
successful pregnancy. But, would it work? Once again, the
excitement of the thought! The dream of taking my son out in my
canoe for the first time. And of taking my daughter to lunch and
then shopping to buy her whatever her little heart desired – a lifetime
affliction I was so willing to endure if all of this proved
successful.
Hopes, they’re an elusive thing.
I’m not sure I ever wanted anything so badly as for this to work.
But, we had been disappointed so many times before. Another
failed IVF would permanently break my wife’s already wounded
heart. And that was something I wasn’t sure I could bear.
Down the path of medical and legal paperwork we go. Finally,
“the” day arrives. Tense. Scared. Hoping.
Praying. Then…. The wait.
Well, I think you know by now how it all worked out: our family
is now complete. My wife gave birth to healthy boy/girl
twins. The sweetest, most perfect living things I have ever laid
my eyes on. After alerting our immediate family, I drove home and
emailed the Lyons’ with the good news and to say “thanks” in words that
probably were totally inadequate, given the weight of what just
happened.
You see, from all of this, we got a gift of life in the form of our
twins. But, we also got the gift of an extended family in
the Lyons’. Perhaps some of you might not want to have that kind
of relationship with your donor(s). We choose to. Do what
your heart tells you to do.
But, for us, that relationship has been the second awesome product out
of all that we’ve been through. And, our twins will now have the
gift of knowing that they have this extended family out there that they
can call on when they want or need to. We not only gained our
little family. We gained a larger, loving family that will be
there for each other in this journey of life going forward.
Peace be with you and good luck in your journey.
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About embryo donation stories: This story and the other
stories you will find at the Miracles Waiting website are contributed
by the authors, and we do not verify the details or content for
accuracy. They are offered on this
site for informational and entertainment purposes only. They are not a
substitute for medical or legal consultation.
The Miracles Waiting, Inc. Team
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